When it comes to persistence, few things compare to a child nagging and negotiating to try and get what he wants. And few people know that better than a parent who has given that child an answer they don’t want to hear.
From the famed “Are we there yet?” to this morning’s “Can I have ice cream for breakfast?” to this afternoon’s “Can I have ice cream for dinner?” kids are notorious for their one-track minds, and they will ask…and ask…and ask…just in case you’ve changed your mind in the last minute.
Child nagging is a learned behavior that children of any age can pick up. They might continue to use it because once, in a moment of weakness, you caved and let them stay up an extra half hour after they asked for the eighth time.
But like any learned behavior, child nagging can be unlearned. The solution comes from Lynn Lott, co-author of the Positive Discipline series of books, and it works on kids as young as two or three, all the way through their teens.
It only takes three simple words: “Asked and Answered.”
The concept is simple. When seven-year-old Daniel begs to dig a giant hole in the front yard and gets “no” for an answer, chances are he’ll be back in five minutes asking again – this time with a “pleeeeeeaase” just so you know he really, really wants to dig the hole.
Instead of repeating yourself or jumping in to a lecture, avoid child nagging by getting eye to eye and follow the process below:
Step One: Ask, “Have you ever heard of ‘Asked and Answered’?” (He’ll probably say no.)
Step Two: Ask, “Did you ask me a question about digging a hole?” (He’ll say yes.)
Step Three: Ask, “Did I answer it?” (He’ll probably say, “Yes, but, I really ….”)
Step Four: Ask, “Do I look like the kind of mom/dad/teacher who will change her/his mind if you ask me the same thing over and over?” (Chances are Daniel will walk away, maybe with a frustrated grunt, and engage in something else.)
Step Five: If Daniel asks again, simply say, “Asked and Answered.” (No other words are necessary!) Once this technique has been established, these are the only words you should need to say to address nagging questions.
Consistency is key! Once you decide to use “Asked and Answered” with your nagging child, be sure to stick to it. If 14-year-old Emma is particularly determined to keep asking to get her eyebrow pierced, stay strong.
Answering her question again – or worse yet, changing your answer – will reinforce to her that her nagging works. Although it’ll take some patience, your child will eventually connect the dots and you’ll see results!
Make “Asked and Answered” a joint effort with your spouse, and consider including any family or friends who may have to deal with child nagging and negotiating from your child. When Daniel and Emma realize that they won’t get a “yes,” even after they’ve asked twelve times, they’ll get the hint and retire this tactic.
Speech and Language Pathologist, Stacy Pulley reports this technique works well for children with communication challenges, particularly those with Autism. She suggests bringing a notebook or a chalk/dry erase board into the mix and writing down a question once they’ve asked it more than once, keeping in mind their reading level. Or, draw a picture.
Then, when your child asks again, point to the board or notebook to remind them that they’ve asked, and you’ve answered. Be sure to use as few words as possible and stay consistent in your language to help them understand the connection as they learn to listen to and respect your answers.
Adding this tool to your parenting toolbox is a positive step toward ending the child nagging and negotiating that can wear on even the most resolute of parents.
Then, be sure to follow through and stay consistent – and before you know it, 20 questions will be a fun game once again, and no longer a negotiation tactic!
Today in my library I happened to open a book by James Twyman ~ The Proof.
It can’t be a coincidence, the page opened up was on Oneness. Same topic of the session Universe has your back.
The embrace of Oneness moves you beyond Acceptance into a full and embodied experience of your emotions, sensations and interactions in each moment.
In the embrace of Oneness, you greet all things with open arms, ready and willing to be present with what is.
When your mind is open, receptive and non judgemental ~ no rejection, no preferences…you will start transforming.
Your Transformation involves going from resistance and regidness to deep Openness and Expansion, allowing the flow of life to move through you.
This is the freedom that the embrace of Oneness offers you.
It’s a state of being, a place of presence and the wholeness of life in each moment.
Affirm ~ I AM Lovingly embracing every experience of my Life, which flows in dynamic surrender and in perfect beauty.
Today Try something you have previously given up.
Persistence is the key to success in everything we do in life. Far too many people waste precious time and energy trying to avoid difficult things in their lives, or even worse, give up at the first signs of any complication.
Little do they realize, however, that even the most complex of tasks become much simpler and much easier when we persist in trying them.
Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence.
Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful people with talent.
Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb.
Education will not; the world is filled with educated derelicts.
Perseverance and determination alone are omnipotent.
Expectation from others is root cause of pain in relationship …
We do good ..we expect same from others …this is where true problem lies ..
Sun gives sunlight ..but never expects …trees give shade n fruits but no expectation in return ..
That’s the reason our ancestor worship Sun .. ..trees etc ..
The moment we drop expectation from others .. we too come into the category where people start worshiping with respect n gratitude ..
Expect from self …it will take us up new height of achievement …expect from our health , we will lead medicine free life …expect from our brain , we will soar national height n become biggest whatever you do ..
Set the target for self …increase it every week ..every month …n see the new leader in you emerging ..because our expectation with self can make you touch the sky..
Expectation from others will give only pain , frustration , tears , breakoff , aloness , anger ,and feeling of revenge …
Such things are slow poison ..which destroys us permanently from root level ..
Son, daughter ,spouse , parents , friends , relatives , office collegue have very very limited role in our life ….they are separate identity ..separate soul …they cannot and never be our mirror identity …and expecting from them returns of your good deeds is just degrading our value in our eyes ..
When we do charity to any beggar …we do it without any expectation …that process fills the heart with joy and gratitude ..
Because we know , beggar do not have capacity and ability to return your good deeds towards you ..
Live like king ..think like a king …act like a king …just keep “donating” good deeds who so ever comes in need to you ..
You are capable ..that’s why people take / seek ur support ..
They cannot return your “donation ” , because they are not king like you …
Expectation can be permanently drop from your body thru consistent “Meditation ” & “self healing ” …
Thoughts on Your Face
Did you know that you wear your thoughts on your face? Whatever you think about is reflected on your face.
Think happy thoughts and you’ll have a natural glow on your face.
Think about the stress in your life and see the tension on your face.
Think calm thoughts and notice serenity reflected on your face.
Go on, look in the mirror and see what your face says about what you are thinking.
Yesterday a client came with an issue that whenever there is a Joyful moments in her life, she is so fearful that something negative is going to happen. Even while watching someone’s wedding video she would feel the fear and would pray for happiness for the couple.
This was going on since many years but her reason to connect now was, her son was about to get married and she was worried and used to get fearful thoughts whether she can enjoy this celebration with her husbands or something would go wrong before the wedding.
Working upon her subconscious beliefs with Redikall the angelic message was
‘ You are perhaps quite sensitive to rude, rough and arrogant behaviour from others. This often disturbs you. You have options here. Either escape such people or circumstances by maintaining a distance or Intend and manifest courtesy and polite behaviour.
Reading this my Intuition guided me that there are instances in her childhood where she has experienced someone spoiling the happiness during Joyful moments and immediately her face showed her approval.
Her Aunt ( father’s sister) was always creating unharmonious situation in other people’s life for stupid reasons.
I worked on her experience by chanting I Revive Recognise Realign Reorient and Reposition this experience creating negating fear….within 20 mins her Aura was shining.
Later I gave her a Redikall Magical Statement 🌺
I Invite courteous and polite approach from one and all and I am enjoying Joyful Celebration with my Loved ones.
She was so grateful that a big fear was lifted up her chest and she could breathe deeply with Ease.
🌹A No No No story🌹
Yesterday I was in a business training where the trainer asked us a following question
“If I give you 1cr rupees will you jump from the plane?”
Before I go further I would like you to answer this question.
*What would you reply?*
Most of the people in the room said *”No No No”* there where few of the other interesting answers but a NO was the maximum.
On this the trainer said “you all answered me before I could even inform you wether I’ll give you a parachute or not, or even if the plane is in the sky or on ground.”
This really made me go to all those places in my life where I just say NO NO NO without even considering it on a auto pilot.
Are you doing the same?
Where, when, what, why and how have you made a NO NO NO a auto pilot in your life?
Have you ever wondered how many NO’s are you using from the life you desire and from what you know is possible?
If you would choose to live your life with 🌹YES🌹
*YES* I can.
*YES* let’s do it.
*YES* I love you.
*YES* I am different.
*YES* I don’t like you.
*YES* I want money.
Won’t this crate more ease in your life?👍
✔️Are you willing to have a YES life?✔️
2 quick questions for you…
1) Are men really from Mars?
2) Are women from Venus?
I’m sure you’ve heard this reference many times before, and the implication is that we’re so different, men and women might as well be from different planets.
The reality is, we are equal in many respects – especially when it comes to our basic human needs like safety, love, belonging, and our desire to become the most we can be. But we are also different… after all, we are individuals with unique experiences.
This can be seen in how we each think, react, and communicate to the same circumstances.
For example, men tend to communicate through actions rather than words.
This behavior can be traced back to prehistoric times, when men did most of the hunting, providing, and solving challenges. In other words, they proved their worth by taking care of their family.
So when a woman tells a man about a problem, his immediate reaction is to fix it.
This approach can make women feel offended, insulted, or even angry–because women don’t necessarily want men to solve their problem.
Unless they specifically ask for that, what women really want is to be heard and understood. They want men to pay attention and connect with them emotionally.
However, men aren’t intentionally trying to be insulting or offensive. They’re just simply following their instinct and survival methods: “I see a problem, therefore I must help NOW.”
So women, if you find yourself getting irritated by men jumping in to solve a situation, problem or challenge, remember it’s not a statement about you or your abilities.
Men are simply acting on their knee-jerk desire to fix whatever they think is “broken.”
And men, I’d like to teach you 3 powerful words you can use every time a woman opens up to you about a challenge she’s experiencing. Instead of jumping into action, take a deep breath, and say these simple words…
“Tell me more.”
Then, let her know you listened by reflecting back and saying things like, “So what you’re saying is…” or “That must be really frustrating,” or “I can see why you’re upset.”
Now that you know about these differences, think about how you can use this knowledge to communicate more effectively with the opposite sex.
Remember this, Laila , women tend to show intimacy by sharing their feelings, while men tend to express their caring through their actions.”
– from a newsletter of Jack Canfield – Author of many books including Success Principles and How to get from where you are to where you want to be and Chicken soup for the Soul series 🙂
🗑🚰 Beware of the Leaking Bucket
1. You make people believe you are righteous but secretly you are devil’s agent. (A leaking bucket).
2. You pray all the time but you have no strong faith at all. (A leaking bucket).
3. You’re very kind to people and speak with them gently but with your family you’re always harsh. (A leaking bucket).
4.. You honour and treat your guests well but when they leave, you gossip about them and talk about their flaws. (A leaking bucket).
5. You give a lot of charity to the poor but you humiliate them and hurt them. (A leaking bucket).
6. You stand up to pray at night, fast and read The Holy Book everyday but you cut your family ties. (A leaking bucket).
7. You joke with friends openly but behind them you swear, insult, curse and blackmail them. (A leaking bucket).
8. You help others but you’re doing it to gain something from them and not doing those acts of kindness for the sake of Almighty God’s Glory. (A leaking bucket).
9. You post reminders and have thousands of followers on facebook, twitter and instagram but you’re doing it for the fame, not to spread the gospel. (A leaking bucket).
10. You read this beautiful post and you gain from it but deliberately refuse to share with others. (A leaking bucket).
May the Almighty God have mercy on us not to become Leaking Buckets.🗑🚰