Tag Archives: happiness

Connection before Correction…

These qualities I wish I had used more consistently is Connection before Correction.

Of course, I didn’t know what this meant as a young mother.

Now we know it is just brain science: children learn (grow, feel safe, thrive) best when they feel connection—or as Alfred Adler and Rudolf Dreikurs taught us, “a sense of belonging and significance”.

Extensive research shows that we cannot influence children in a positive way until we create a connection with them.

It is a brain (and heart) thing.

🌹Sometimes we have to stop dealing with the misbehavior and first heal the relationship.🌹

Connection creates a sense of safety and openness.

Punishment, lecturing, nagging, scolding, blaming or shaming create fight, flight, or freeze.

One of my favorite examples of “connection before correction” is, “ I Love You 😍 and the answer is no.”

This example also illustrates the Positive Discipline concept of kind and Down at the same time.

Before sharing more ways to create a connection with children, I want to point out that it is a mistake to think that giving children whatever they want is effective.

Rescuing, fixing, and over-protecting are not good ways to create a connection.

Effective connections are made when both child and adult feel belonging and significance.

Most of the Positive Discipline parenting tools provide skills for creating a connecon.

Simple Techniques..

  • Spend special time with children. What could create a greater connection for your child than to know you enjoy spending time with him or her.
  • Listen. Really listen. Stop doing whatever you are doing and give your child your full attention
  • Validate your child’s feelings. Don’t we all feel connected when we feel understood?
  • Share your feelings and thoughts when appropriate. Remember that children will listen to you AFTER they feel listened to. Children feel a connection when you respectfully share something about yourself. Respectfully, means no stories about walking miles in the snow.
  • Focus on solutions WITH children after a cooling off period. There is that word “with” again–because it is a golden bridge to connection.
  • Ask curiosity questions to help children explore the consequences of their choices instead of imposing consequences on them. Sincere questions open the heart and the rational brain—equaling connection.
  • Hugs. There are times when all of us need nothing more than a hug.

Once the connection is made, children are then open to respectful correction.

It is important to understand that “Correction” in the Positive Discipline way is very different from conventional correction.

The biggest difference is that conventional correction usually involves punishment (punitive time-out, grounding, and taking away privileges being the most common).

In other words, conventional correction consists of adults doing something TO children. Positive Discipline correction respectfully involves children whenever possible, finding solutions WITH them.

Two great methods for finding solutions are family meeting and joint problem solving.

These are powerful tools that respectfully involve children to learn and use their personal power in contributing ways.

Connection is created as part of the process.

When children feel a connection, they feel belonging and significance. Often that is enough for misbehavior to stop. As you learn about the many Positive Discipline tools, notice that they are all designed to create a connection before respectful correction.

Fear over Love

Choosing Love over Fear means:

1. You choose to stop beating yourself up, accept that you too are human, and show yourself compassion.

2. You choose to accept your struggles as opportunities for growth and change.

3. You choose to see all people through a lens of compassion and yes, even the ones who treat you poorly (they’re going through their own stuff … nothing to do with you!).

4. You choose to forgive yourself and others, so you can let the past go, cut the chords, and finally be able to do what you need to do in the present to thrive.

5. You choose to start appreciating your body (instead of bashing it), and that very respect allows you to do what’s right for you and your body daily.

6. You choose to not let others determine your worth.

7. You choose to savor your moments and be grateful for all that you have (even if you want more). Note: it is this very mindset that will get you more.

8. You choose to let the beliefs, thoughts, and ideas that are no longer serving you go.

9. You choose to set loving boundaries, so you can feel important too (and not like a doormat).

10. You choose to honor the present moment, by showing up the best you can for where you are in that moment.

11. You choose to speak your truth and ask for what you need, so you can live freely, fully, and honestly.

12. You choose to see your Possibilities.

13. You choose to remember that feelings are just feelings and that they too will pass.

14. You choose to show your loved ones love.

15. You choose to not let what you labeled yourself as prevent you from becoming who you want to grow into.

Thoughts on Your Face

Thoughts on Your Face

Did you know that you wear your thoughts on your face? Whatever you think about is reflected on your face.

Think happy thoughts and you’ll have a natural glow on your face.

Think about the stress in your life and see the tension on your face.

Think calm thoughts and notice serenity reflected on your face.

Go on, look in the mirror and see what your face says about what you are thinking.

Fearful Negative Thoughts in the midst of Positive Celebration.

Yesterday a client came with an issue that whenever there is a Joyful moments in her life, she is so fearful that something negative is going to happen. Even while watching someone’s wedding video she would feel the fear and would pray for happiness for the couple.

This was going on since many years but her reason to connect now was, her son was about to get married and she was worried and used to get fearful thoughts whether she can enjoy this celebration with her husbands or something would go wrong before the wedding.

Working upon her subconscious beliefs with Redikall the angelic message was

‘ You are perhaps quite sensitive to rude, rough and arrogant behaviour from others. This often disturbs you. You have options here. Either escape such people or circumstances by maintaining a distance or Intend and manifest courtesy and polite behaviour.

Reading this my Intuition guided me that there are instances in her childhood where she has experienced someone spoiling the happiness during Joyful moments and immediately her face showed her approval.

Her Aunt ( father’s sister) was always creating unharmonious situation in other people’s life for stupid reasons.

I worked on her experience by chanting I Revive Recognise Realign Reorient and Reposition this experience creating negating fear….within 20 mins her Aura was shining.

Later I gave her a Redikall Magical Statement 🌺

I Invite courteous and polite approach from one and all and I am enjoying Joyful Celebration with my Loved ones.

She was so grateful that a big fear was lifted up her chest and she could breathe deeply with Ease.

🌺💕☘️💕🌺

Tell me More

“Hi Bandana,

2 quick questions for you…

1) Are men really from Mars?

2) Are women from Venus?

I’m sure you’ve heard this reference many times before, and the implication is that we’re so different, men and women might as well be from different planets.

The reality is, we are equal in many respects – especially when it comes to our basic human needs like safety, love, belonging, and our desire to become the most we can be. But we are also different… after all, we are individuals with unique experiences.

This can be seen in how we each think, react, and communicate to the same circumstances.

For example, men tend to communicate through actions rather than words.

This behavior can be traced back to prehistoric times, when men did most of the hunting, providing, and solving challenges. In other words, they proved their worth by taking care of their family.

So when a woman tells a man about a problem, his immediate reaction is to fix it.

This approach can make women feel offended, insulted, or even angry–because women don’t necessarily want men to solve their problem.

Unless they specifically ask for that, what women really want is to be heard and understood. They want men to pay attention and connect with them emotionally.

However, men aren’t intentionally trying to be insulting or offensive. They’re just simply following their instinct and survival methods: “I see a problem, therefore I must help NOW.”

So women, if you find yourself getting irritated by men jumping in to solve a situation, problem or challenge, remember it’s not a statement about you or your abilities.

Men are simply acting on their knee-jerk desire to fix whatever they think is “broken.”

And men, I’d like to teach you 3 powerful words you can use every time a woman opens up to you about a challenge she’s experiencing. Instead of jumping into action, take a deep breath, and say these simple words…

“Tell me more.”

Then, let her know you listened by reflecting back and saying things like, “So what you’re saying is…” or “That must be really frustrating,” or “I can see why you’re upset.”

Now that you know about these differences, think about how you can use this knowledge to communicate more effectively with the opposite sex.

Remember this, Laila , women tend to show intimacy by sharing their feelings, while men tend to express their caring through their actions.”

– from a newsletter of Jack Canfield – Author of many books including Success Principles and How to get from where you are to where you want to be and Chicken soup for the Soul series 🙂

Anxiety Vs Patience

This is a Zibu Symbol which made me think about Anxiety.

Anxiety is “the rust of life;” after all, it feeds on us, corroding and destroying our faith and certainty and obscuring the beauty we perceive in life.

Unfortunately, anxiety is something that generally seems to plague us no matter how much we try to avoid it or prevent it.

Perhaps that is because it is so deeply rooted in our emotions–fear, uncertainty, apprehension, failure, and so on.

Or maybe it is a result of trying to manage it in unhealthy and ineffective ways.

Regardless, the best way to handle it–and thwart it–is through complete trust and faith in our Creator.

This requires complete surrender of our worries–it means evicting anxiety so that peace may come inside.

Our humanity creates a desire to want to be in control of our lives–to know that everything that occurs to us in life is a result of our actions, or inactions.

But it is impossible for us to control everything. In all honesty, it is difficult enough for us to control a few things, let alone the infinite possibilities that confront us, or have the potential to.

I have found that the people who are happiest in life are not necessarily those who are well off–the wealthy, the powerful, and the famous.

These individuals tend to be cynical and critical of life, often harboring unhappiness and encouraging those around them not to trust life either.

In contrast, the truly happiest individuals tend to be those who trust life–those who go about living open, caring, and compassionate lives.

Trusting in God’s Providence truly is the best preventative and remedy to the rust that feeds on the beauty of life.

Let go of your anxieties, your worries, and your cares… place them into the arms of your Creator who made you and watches over you with unconditional love and unfathomable passion.

You will find your worries becoming all the less, until one day, they simply are no more. and certainty and obscuring the beauty we perceive in life.

Unfortunately, anxiety is something that generally seems to plague us no matter how much we try to avoid it or prevent it.

Perhaps that is because it is so deeply rooted in our emotions–fear, uncertainty, apprehension, failure, and so on.

Or maybe it is a result of trying to manage it in unhealthy and ineffective ways.

Regardless, the best way to handle it–and thwart it–is through complete trust and faith in our Creator.

This requires complete surrender of our worries–it means evicting anxiety so that peace may come inside.

Our humanity creates a desire to want to be in control of our lives–to know that everything that occurs to us in life is a result of our actions, or inactions.

But it is impossible for us to control everything. In all honesty, it is difficult enough for us to control a few things, let alone the infinite possibilities that confront us, or have the potential to.

I have found that the people who are happiest in life are not necessarily those who are well off–the wealthy, the powerful, and the famous.

These individuals tend to be cynical and critical of life, often harboring unhappiness and encouraging those around them not to trust life either.

In contrast, the truly happiest individuals tend to be those who trust life–those who go about living open, caring, and compassionate lives.

Trusting in God’s Providence truly is the best preventative and remedy to the rust that feeds on the beauty of life.

Let go of your anxieties, your worries, and your cares… place them into the arms of your Creator who made you and watches over you with unconditional love and unfathomable passion.

You will find your worries becoming all the less, until one day, they simply are no more.

Divine Patience

??☘️??

Resistance

Resistance

The human DNA holds many things. Including patterns and belief systems and conditioning of centuries. It has become so ingrained in you; that it is reflected in your way of thinking, feeling and living your life. One of the patterns that is crippling humans is Resistance.

What is Resistance? It is a block. A nonacceptance. It is shutting the door on the face of someone or something. It is an emotion of pushing away what is coming to you. It is moving against the flow.

Though it may seem that one resists the negative aspects of Life like pain or problems; we find the contrary to be true. You believe life is a continuous struggle. You accept pain and hardships for you have been programmed by society that Life is hard. Challenges are more acceptable than Achievements. In this energy of Resistance, you resist health, happiness, joy, wholeness and even greatness.

One of the primary reasons you don’t heal is that you resist healing. Certain belief systems and patterns are behind this. You think the health issues you face are normal. You don’t believe in the wholeness, the perfection of the human body. Imperfection is more acceptable.

You become so attached to your health issues that you don’t want to let them go. At the subconscious level you hold onto them because they are the source of the care and attention in your life and you don’t want to lose that. So you hold onto your disease and don’t want to let go.

Similar is your attitude to happiness, joy in your life. You don’t let go of your pain because it has been with you so long that you are used to it. It is familiar. You don’t believe that happiness, joy can last . Moreover you don’t believe you deserve it. So you push away abundance; be it in the form of Money, Relationships or Success.

Another big area of Resistance is in the area of Spiritual growth. You resist sitting in meditation, resist talking to the Masters, resist being called Spiritual for somewhere deep in your soul is the fear; that Spirituality means losing your favourite things of life, things that really matter to you. That is why inspite of the deep calling in your heart you take so long to start living a Spiritual life.

Resistance makes life harder for it is moving against the flow. It is resisting what is meant to be yours. Be it a Lesson or a Love.

Archangel Jophiel through Satarupa

Bitterness ?

Today someone asked a question….what if close family tries to stop us from reaching out True Potential…..

And the question arose so many questions in my mind on how to answer this query in the best possible way….and here what you ask you receive….

Sharing this wonderful Insight which is slightly Long but worth a read and we can also discuss it for more clarification…

Bitter feelings allow us to become perfect victims, in that we no longer feel obliged to work toward healing.

It is natural to feel resentment or anger when life does not unfold as expected.

We consciously or unconsciously anticipated one experience, and we grieve for the loss of it when the universe puts something else in our path.

Most of the time, we work through these feelings and they pass.

Occasionally, our anger and resentment do not fade and are instead transformed into bitterness.

Bitter feelings allow us to become perfect victims in that we no longer feel obliged to work toward healing and choose instead to identify with our pain.

Yet as unwholesome as bitterness can be, it is also a natural element of our emotional palette.

When we acknowledge that it is okay to feel bitter, we reconnect with our hurt in a constructive way and can begin the process of working through it.

The nature of bitterness is rooted in the fact that the pain we feel provides us with a rationale.

We may feel that we deserve to embrace our bitterness to its full extent.

And to be bitter is, in essence, to cut ourselves off from all that is positive, hardening our hearts and vowing never to let go of our hurt.

But just as bitter feelings can be self-defeating, so too can the release of bitterness be life-affirming in a way that few other emotional experiences are.

When we decide that we no longer want to be bitter, we are reborn into a world filled with delight and fulfillment unlike any we knew while in the clutches of bitterness.

The veil it cast over our lives is lifted, letting light and warmth touch our souls.

Divesting yourself of bitter feelings can be as simple as truly forgiving and moving on.

Even when your bitterness has no concrete object, you can forgive situations too.

Healing pain can be challenging but may be easier if you remind yourself that you are the only entity truly affected by your emotional state.

I

n time, you will discover that letting go of your bitterness frees you to initiate the healing process and allows you to once again celebrate the possibility of the more wonderful life you deserve.

Divine Expansion

??☘️??

I can do it ~ Louise Hay

If you want to create better health in your body, there are definitely some things you must not do: You must not get angry at your body for any reason. Anger is another affirmation, and it’s telling your body that you hate it, or parts of it. Your cells are very aware of every thought you have.

Your body knows how to heal itself. If you feed it healthy foods and beverages, give it exercise and sufficient sleep, and think happy thoughts, then its work is easy. The cells are working in a happy, healthy atmosphere. However, if you’re a couch potato who feeds your body junk food and lots of diet soda, and you skimp on sleep and are grouchy and irritable all the time, then the cells in your body are working at a disadvantage—they’re in a disagreeable atmosphere. If this is the case, it’s no wonder that your body isn’t as healthy as you’d like it to be.

You’ll never create good health by talking or thinking about your illness. Good health comes from love and appreciation. You want to put as much love into your body as you possibly can. Talk to it and stroke it in loving ways. If there’s a part of your body that’s ailing or dis-eased, then you want to treat it as you would a sick little child. Tell it how much you love it, and that you’re doing everything you can to help it get well quickly.

If you’re sick, then you want to do more than just go to the doctor and have him or her give you a chemical to take care of the symptom. Your body is telling you that something you’re doing isn’t good for your body. You need to learn more about health—the more you learn, the easier it is to take care of your body. You don’t want to choose to feel like a victim. If you do, you’ll just be giving your power away. You could go to a health-food store and pick up one of the many good books that teach you how to keep yourself healthy, or you could see a nutritionist and have a healthy diet created just for you, but whatever you do, create a healthy, happy mental atmosphere. Be a willing participant in your own health plan.

I believe that we create every so-called illness in our body. The body, like everything else in life, is a mirror of our inner thoughts and beliefs. Our body is always talking to us; we just need to take the time to listen. Every cell within our body responds to every single thought we think and every word we speak.

You can choose to think thoughts that create a mental atmosphere that contributes to illness, or you can choose to think thoughts that create a healthy atmosphere both within you and around you.

Positive Affirmations for Health

I enjoy the foods that are best for my body. I love every cell of my body.

I look forward to a healthy old age because I take loving care of my body now.

I am constantly discovering new ways to improve my health.

Healing happens! I get my mind out of the way and allow the intelligence of my body to do its healing work naturally.

My body is always doing its best to create perfect health.

Fight Vs Flight

Choose What You Fight…

I once met a very successful business woman and I asked her to share her secret with me.

She smiled and said to me..

I started succeeding when I started leaving small fights for small fighters.

I stopped fighting those who gossiped about me…

I stopped fighting over unnecessary issues with my spouse…

I stopped fighting for attention…

I stopped fighting to meet up with public expectation…

I left such fights for those who have nothing else to fight…

“And I started fighting for my vision, my dreams, my ideas and my destiny. Then I started winning big”.

That was the day I gave up on small fights.

Some fights are not worth your time.

Fight to make your visions and dreams come alive!

Fight the good fight of faith!

Fight for your destiny not for your ego!

Entrepreneurs shouldn’t have time for unnecessary fights!

Visionaries don’t cluster their mind with nonsense bickering!

Always ask, what is this fight adding to my destiny, my goal, my progress?

Choose what you fight for in 2018 as a year for greatness.

Compliments of the season to all the game changers.