Tag Archives: joy

Connection before Correction…

These qualities I wish I had used more consistently is Connection before Correction.

Of course, I didn’t know what this meant as a young mother.

Now we know it is just brain science: children learn (grow, feel safe, thrive) best when they feel connection—or as Alfred Adler and Rudolf Dreikurs taught us, “a sense of belonging and significance”.

Extensive research shows that we cannot influence children in a positive way until we create a connection with them.

It is a brain (and heart) thing.

🌹Sometimes we have to stop dealing with the misbehavior and first heal the relationship.🌹

Connection creates a sense of safety and openness.

Punishment, lecturing, nagging, scolding, blaming or shaming create fight, flight, or freeze.

One of my favorite examples of “connection before correction” is, “ I Love You 😍 and the answer is no.”

This example also illustrates the Positive Discipline concept of kind and Down at the same time.

Before sharing more ways to create a connection with children, I want to point out that it is a mistake to think that giving children whatever they want is effective.

Rescuing, fixing, and over-protecting are not good ways to create a connection.

Effective connections are made when both child and adult feel belonging and significance.

Most of the Positive Discipline parenting tools provide skills for creating a connecon.

Simple Techniques..

  • Spend special time with children. What could create a greater connection for your child than to know you enjoy spending time with him or her.
  • Listen. Really listen. Stop doing whatever you are doing and give your child your full attention
  • Validate your child’s feelings. Don’t we all feel connected when we feel understood?
  • Share your feelings and thoughts when appropriate. Remember that children will listen to you AFTER they feel listened to. Children feel a connection when you respectfully share something about yourself. Respectfully, means no stories about walking miles in the snow.
  • Focus on solutions WITH children after a cooling off period. There is that word “with” again–because it is a golden bridge to connection.
  • Ask curiosity questions to help children explore the consequences of their choices instead of imposing consequences on them. Sincere questions open the heart and the rational brain—equaling connection.
  • Hugs. There are times when all of us need nothing more than a hug.

Once the connection is made, children are then open to respectful correction.

It is important to understand that “Correction” in the Positive Discipline way is very different from conventional correction.

The biggest difference is that conventional correction usually involves punishment (punitive time-out, grounding, and taking away privileges being the most common).

In other words, conventional correction consists of adults doing something TO children. Positive Discipline correction respectfully involves children whenever possible, finding solutions WITH them.

Two great methods for finding solutions are family meeting and joint problem solving.

These are powerful tools that respectfully involve children to learn and use their personal power in contributing ways.

Connection is created as part of the process.

When children feel a connection, they feel belonging and significance. Often that is enough for misbehavior to stop. As you learn about the many Positive Discipline tools, notice that they are all designed to create a connection before respectful correction.

Thoughts on Your Face

Thoughts on Your Face

Did you know that you wear your thoughts on your face? Whatever you think about is reflected on your face.

Think happy thoughts and you’ll have a natural glow on your face.

Think about the stress in your life and see the tension on your face.

Think calm thoughts and notice serenity reflected on your face.

Go on, look in the mirror and see what your face says about what you are thinking.

Bitterness ?

Today someone asked a question….what if close family tries to stop us from reaching out True Potential…..

And the question arose so many questions in my mind on how to answer this query in the best possible way….and here what you ask you receive….

Sharing this wonderful Insight which is slightly Long but worth a read and we can also discuss it for more clarification…

Bitter feelings allow us to become perfect victims, in that we no longer feel obliged to work toward healing.

It is natural to feel resentment or anger when life does not unfold as expected.

We consciously or unconsciously anticipated one experience, and we grieve for the loss of it when the universe puts something else in our path.

Most of the time, we work through these feelings and they pass.

Occasionally, our anger and resentment do not fade and are instead transformed into bitterness.

Bitter feelings allow us to become perfect victims in that we no longer feel obliged to work toward healing and choose instead to identify with our pain.

Yet as unwholesome as bitterness can be, it is also a natural element of our emotional palette.

When we acknowledge that it is okay to feel bitter, we reconnect with our hurt in a constructive way and can begin the process of working through it.

The nature of bitterness is rooted in the fact that the pain we feel provides us with a rationale.

We may feel that we deserve to embrace our bitterness to its full extent.

And to be bitter is, in essence, to cut ourselves off from all that is positive, hardening our hearts and vowing never to let go of our hurt.

But just as bitter feelings can be self-defeating, so too can the release of bitterness be life-affirming in a way that few other emotional experiences are.

When we decide that we no longer want to be bitter, we are reborn into a world filled with delight and fulfillment unlike any we knew while in the clutches of bitterness.

The veil it cast over our lives is lifted, letting light and warmth touch our souls.

Divesting yourself of bitter feelings can be as simple as truly forgiving and moving on.

Even when your bitterness has no concrete object, you can forgive situations too.

Healing pain can be challenging but may be easier if you remind yourself that you are the only entity truly affected by your emotional state.

I

n time, you will discover that letting go of your bitterness frees you to initiate the healing process and allows you to once again celebrate the possibility of the more wonderful life you deserve.

Divine Expansion

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Acceptance 

Acceptance is a necessary precursor to experiencing peace. 

You cannot be resistant and peaceful at the same time.

If you are feeling discomfort, stop and ask what you are not in acceptance of. 

It may be that you are resistant to something simply by habit, in which case you can simply intend to release or surrender it. 

If it is something you cannot understand, or do anything about, you may wish to give it to God to be resolved for the highest good of all. 

Handing it over is a wonderful way to allow your faith and trust to move you into acceptance of the situation.

Finding your way back to acceptance, over and again, is how you become a powerful anchor of peace. 

From there you will find so much more comfort, presence, alignment, and ease. 

You will experience far less stress, and you will be able to shift your focus onto what you know and what it is you want more of, and embrace your role of powerful co-creator.

My Inner Voice  ~ Intuition 

My InnerVoice !
We all have a voice in our head that is constantly and always in conversation with us.

The innervoice !

?Inner Voice is the intuition we are born with.?

 However in the growing years the intuition is drowned.

 It is Lost! 

What stays back is negative and naysayer inner self talk.

We all know Our internal dialogue creates outer experiences. 

When we are connecting with outside world this voice has the ability to keep on chatting with us. 

This creates a filter & sometimes judgement about life and people. 

We end up beating ourselves relentlessly with negative self talk. 

Creating negative experiences…..When this negative voice starts to go overboard it becomes our own critic.     

So if there is a critic sitting inside our head and constantly criticizing everything we do or say or even think, there is a high possibility …
That we will be surrounded with bosses that are extremely critical! 

Or judgemental relationships!  

Sometimes our friends, our kids and siblings also disapprove of things we do.  

Critical inner dialogue leads to depression in long run. 

Let us decide today to be gentle when in conversation with ourselves. 
We can start to see life differently if the inner critic alters itself to positive inner voice. 

Let us make our Inner voice positive. Let us take it to its original form – Intuition! 

We just need to take 2 tiny steps towards change. 

☘️ Step 1
Begin by saying ‘it is okay’ very often and frequently. The inner self talk can be pacified. 

It is okay is simplest way to create a calm effect, to release the negative dialogue and make it neutral.    
☘️ Step 2 

Every day spend 6 minutes in front of a mirror and repeat I love you to yourself. This forms new patterns of self approval – Louise L Hay. 
The magical changes we look for are hidden in these everyday small acts. 

Restoring your Inner Voice as intuition requires inner work. 

Divine Intuition 

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Beautiful Prayer….

Dear God-
Please bless my path with light and allow me to be a blessing to others. 

Sometimes it seems like there is so much hardship in the world, I wonder how my life can make a difference. 

I forget sometimes that every life matters… including mine.

Please help me release my worries to you and help me remember that my challenges are not bigger than the power of Divine co-creation.

Help me to see beauty in the world and see the sweet promise of potential in everyone I meet.

Please help me awaken more fully into Your dream of me so that I may fulfill the promise of my gifts in service to the greater good.
Thank you, God, for the gift of my life. 

I am so grateful for the goodness you seed into the world.
Divine Life 

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